Thursday, March 1, 2012

In the Shit House

I'm kind of in the shit house today.  I'd say the dog house, but I'm not a slobbering mutt.  I never sink that low.

It started this morning.  I was feeling great.  I ran downstairs and yelled until the Stooge fed me.

Then, the little non-stooges got up and one of the little ones played with me with my mousie.  And I got  excited and scratched her a little bit.  Well, a little more than a little bit.  It only bled a for awhile.

Of course, she had a fit and that made Stoogess unhappy with me.

So I played by myself for awhile.  Which was fun because I discovered I can climb the drapes with my claws and get on the mantel.  And there, there's this old ceramic horse.  Like really old.  A "piece of crap" old," you know?  So I pushed it off and watched it crash to the ground.  And there was Stoogess yelling, "no, no, you stupid damned cat!" and going on and on about how I chipped its ear off and blah blah blah blah.  Geez.  It's ceramic.  It doesn't need an ear.  I can understand if I had chipped off one of the little non-stooge's ears.

So yeah.  Later, when I climbed up on Stoogess's neck while she was working and I slipped and scratched her on the neck, she didn't even pick me up and cuddle with me.  She just put me on the floor.

So I guess I'm in the shit house.  I'll be cute for the rest of the day and stay on the floor.

Hope they don't find out I used the good sofa for a scratching post.


  1. When I was a kid, we had a dog that was not allowed on the couch. He knew he wasn't supposed to be there and we never had to get onto him for it.

    One weekend we went for a walk around the country and when we came walking back into the yard, we saw him through the window sunning himself on the back of the couch. He heard us laughing and hung his head when he looked out and realized he was caught.

    Apparently, he only jumped up there when we weren't home.

    1. I overheard the Stooges talking the other day about a cat who used to live with them before me. Apparently, she used to have an unnatural relationship with a fluffy red ball. When she thought no one was around, she'd jump onto the bed with the red ball and lie on it and make highpitched yowling sounds that were unmistakably sounds of joy. If there was any doubt there was something carnal about this, those doubts were dispelled when the Stooges got home. She'd jump off the bed, looking like Anthony Wiener after he got found out.

      I'm working from the assumption that it's best to do what I want to do, regardless of who's watching. I've seen the Stooges naked. There's no getting more embarrassing than that.