Brian, guess what.  I'm totally sorry if it seemed like I was being rude by not writing in our blog this week.  I will try to be better about thinking about stuff that is worth sharing here.  I am not bailing out, man.  So please don't think I'm giving up in the blog department.
I was very busy using my computer time to look at hundreds of websites regarding my travel plans.  That's why I didn't have computer time to write in our blog these past few days.  Sorry, man.
Today I finally made several reservations for flights & hotels - and also a tour to Stonehenge.

I have come to the conclusion that it's NO WONDER why like doctors (& maybe lawyers) and other people who have "time=money type of jobs" will just say they want their travel agent to look everything up and make the best choices for them.  No kidding!  It probably took the equivalent of 2 whole work days to comparison shop online, to get the best value for the money for my spring trip to London and Amsterdam and Copenhagen.  But that's because I had the TIME to be a savvy consumer.  Because my time wasn't so valuable that I couldn't spare like about a total of maybe 15 hours, all told, to search for the best bargains.  That's why I haven't focused on the important responsibility of keeping up my end of the deal on our blog...I was trying to save a couple hundred dollars here and there, man.  (That's all the more kroners for beer, know what I'm sayin'?)

So I felt really satisified when I had completed all my research AND felt like I was totally ready to finalize all the reservations...I HAD DONE AN OUTSTANDING JOB!  Next thing you know, one of the humans (let's call him "J") was ready to have a panic attack because of all the charges that were piling up on his Visa card all at once!  Even though he is totally in agreement with the whole vacation - He actually had to leave and go take a walk to have a breather...

Hey, you work to live - NOT live to work, man.  That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.

After the birthday party

I'm feeling a little woozy.

The eldest non-stooge had his 12th birthday party today.  To keep me from jumping up on the table to check out the enormous ice-cream cake they got, stooges got me a can of salmon mush.  Oh, it smelled like dead fish and was soooo good.

My belly is distended and now I'm sleepy.

Life  is good.  Sooo good.

Can't a cat get a little privacy?

This morning, I was in the bathroom using the "box," and all of a sudden in bursts non-stooge 1.  She sees me and she screams:  "Ewww!  Brian is going poo!"  And from the other room I hear non-stooge 2 yell "Ewwww!"  Then there's a pause and I hear non-stooge 2 say "I gotta see this," and then the sound of running feet.

Needless to say, I do not evacuate my bowels to provide entertainment for stooge-children, so I jumped out and hid behind my big porcelain drinking dish.  I never did get to poo, and I think now I might be constipated.

Reason Number 253 that I'm going to eat those small non-stooges when I'm big enough.

Brian, guess what.  Tomorrow is "Super Tuesday."  I hear ya when you say you distain politics, but yet you keep mentioning topics that are related to politics.  Duh!  Who can avoid it?  I would like to tell you about my friend, Moose J. Moose.  He is very grouchy and disgusted with human politics too.  He started his own political group called the Root Beer Party.  Super Tuesday is a big day for voting.  I recommend that you consider casting your vote for Moose J. Moose.  He thinks a stuffed monkey could do a better job at governing than most humans are doing.  (But he might not get a lot of votes because he is a Morman monkey.  I don't hold that against him because he is a critical thinker, and he calls BS on lots of stuff that he thinks is crazy shit from some other Mormans who are giving them a bad name.) 

I especially like this guy because I met him on facebook, and that was a long time ago when I saw someone had shared an article about some nutcase who was in the news because he was saying Islam is a "monkey religion."   Then I searched "monkey religion" on facebook and I discovered a FB group called the "Monkey Church."  That's how I found Moose J. Moose - because he was one of their founders and he was practicing IRONY.  (I like that in a church.)  AND he has a twin monkey AND both Moose & his twin have twin people in Salt Lake City who are very accomplished theater & film producers.  They are pretty much my favorite FB friends.  THEN one day I saw Moose J. Moose, or maybe it was his twin (Damien Grumio Aardvark), shared on FB that he liked Dole bananas.  So I "liked" Dole bananas too.  Imagine my shock when I looked at the Dole page and saw hundreds of stuffed monkeys on FB liked that page too.  Who knew?  So then I friended some of the monkeys I saw there.  One thing led to another, and pretty soon I became part of the international stuffed animal community.  (BTW, I am quite popular.) 

Now I have lots of stuffed animal friends and I got invited to TWO gatherings with my FB friends, and I am going!  (I was already planning to take a vacation to Amsterdam this spring, so it was easy to add the London party and the Copenhagen festival to my itinerary.)  So in conclusion, if you join a Morman Monkey Church, you could end up going to London and Amsterdam and Copenhagen.  It's a life changing experience, I tell ya.  That's why you should vote for Moose J. Moose on Super Tuesday!  Know what I'm sayin'?

Working hard

Today I am with Stoogess at work, making sure she doesn't mess anything up.

Here's a photo of me, helping her with some documents.  Now they smell like butt.  Excellent.

Brian, guess what.  I have met some pretty famous celebrities and I might even try to become one myself someday.  Remember a week ago when I mentioned the Academy Awards, and I said: "WHO are you wearing?"  And then I gave an example of a famous designer, like: "I'm wearing Paul Frank."  (He is in the monkey business.)  (Paul Frank is my friend.)  And THEN you posted a photo of your stoogess' shoe with Julius the monkey on it.  I met Julius!.  And, as you can see, I met the REAL Elmo and Kevin Clash at the Seattle International Film Festival too.  I'm all about networking, man.  That's how I roll.  Know what I'm sayin'?

Shut the hell up!

Stooge and Stoogess like to talk about "politics." Which means that Stoogess gets all riled up and starts using a lot of four letter words and Stooge plays along.  It goes something like this:

Stoogess:  Did you hear that that fucking idiot Rush Limbaugh called that woman a slut?

Stooge:  What woman?

Stoogess:  You know, that law student who wanted to testify about contraceptives before that Congressional committee.

Stooge:  He did?  Why?

Stoogess:  Because he's a stupid fat fucker who ought to be taken out back and horse whipped.

Stooge:  Huh.

Today this happened while I was trying to take a nap.

Earlier in the morning, I tried to wake up Stooge by putting my mousie on his pillow, but he shoved me off the bed in an unfriendly way.  So I went to small un-stooge's room and bit his toes until he got up and fed me.

It wasn't until I was about to lie down and take a well deserved nap in a patch of sunlight that those lazy stooges got up, shuffled into the livingroom carrying a couple cups of coffee, and started this claptrap.  Who the hell is Rush Limbaugh anyway?  And why is he rushing?  Especially if he is a fat fucker, as Stoogess calls him?

At any rate, here's me.  I'm yelling "shut the hell up," because it was about the stupidest conversation I've ever heard and I wanted to sleep.

In the Shit House

I'm kind of in the shit house today.  I'd say the dog house, but I'm not a slobbering mutt.  I never sink that low.

It started this morning.  I was feeling great.  I ran downstairs and yelled until the Stooge fed me.

Then, the little non-stooges got up and one of the little ones played with me with my mousie.  And I got  excited and scratched her a little bit.  Well, a little more than a little bit.  It only bled a for awhile.

Of course, she had a fit and that made Stoogess unhappy with me.

So I played by myself for awhile.  Which was fun because I discovered I can climb the drapes with my claws and get on the mantel.  And there, there's this old ceramic horse.  Like really old.  A "piece of crap" old," you know?  So I pushed it off and watched it crash to the ground.  And there was Stoogess yelling, "no, no, you stupid damned cat!" and going on and on about how I chipped its ear off and blah blah blah blah.  Geez.  It's ceramic.  It doesn't need an ear.  I can understand if I had chipped off one of the little non-stooge's ears.

So yeah.  Later, when I climbed up on Stoogess's neck while she was working and I slipped and scratched her on the neck, she didn't even pick me up and cuddle with me.  She just put me on the floor.

So I guess I'm in the shit house.  I'll be cute for the rest of the day and stay on the floor.

Hope they don't find out I used the good sofa for a scratching post.